Epiphany?

We had an event yesterday morning that is sinking and settling into my brain in ways that make me uncomfortable. We live in a small town with the usual small town issues. We have been spared many of those issues, but have heard of others not so fortunate. I generally have the thought that most people are good, but don't put yourself in a situation that tests other people to be good.  That means I try not to give others a chance to do bad things. I have fenced and secured the alley.  We don't leave tools, bikes and objects out for others to take.

Yesterday morning that changed. Someone jumped our back fence from the alley and tried to steal some of our tools.  In the process they walked into the outside bedroom on our son. He startled them and they ran.  We were awakened, the police called and the yard and even the neighborhood was secured. I haven't gone through all of the tools, but they seem to all have been recovered. They were stashed in bushes in the alley and in the church yard down the alley awaiting pickup later. Eventually the police found someone they suspected of the crime and found some of our objects in their possession.   We'll see where that will go.

What has hit me in the time afterwards are some unpleasant thoughts about how I live and the society I live in. I know there is bad where we live.  We have friends that have been visited by bad, but this is the first time bad has visited us.  I thought I had prepared better.  I haven't, and that bothers me.

The outside room has always been a fun place.  In the multiple years in took to build, most all of our family has slept there at one time or another. Our young adult son living there now enjoys having some autonomy while still living at home.  I am still finishing up some of the details such as locks and deadbolts.  Did I put him in harm's way by not finishing them sooner?  I will wonder that for a while.

We don't have many tools.  It has taken years and decades to put together the tool room.  Old planes, chisels, woodworking tools, and newer tools such as a nail gun for my sore elbow.  To see them in the alley awaiting departure has sickened me. I would never have replaced some of those tools.  Some were gifts from my children. I'm not easy to give gifts to and they put some effort into the tools they gave.

I guess I'm sickened on many fronts. The society we live in that produces a need to take other's goods and the people that take them. I'm no Pollyanna that lives with Bambi in the meadow. I teach young people that I know don't have as many options as others through no fault of their own. And one of the bigger causes in they grow up not being taught the desire to better themselves through their efforts and work. They learn to believe they are owed what they want.  But I can only try to help.

The biggest sinking feeling I'm having now is that I failed my family.  I thought I was prepared better than I was.  That I can change and fix.