Yesterday I entered into a discussion with one of our sons. As with many of our talks, it ranged far and wide. It started from our disagreement with a radio commentator's story of a woman taking a cell phone video as a man rescued another man from a burning building. We delved into media reaction to events, cell phone/device usage, personal responsibility, social conventions and helping others.
Son stated he thought that many people today, trained to stay within social conventions, are less inclined to get involved. He used the example of staying in your own lane while driving, which reminded me of the Edmund Burke quote about "Manners are more important than laws." You get only half of the road, and you can't take it out of the middle. We then veered into thoughts of when should a person break laws or push the envelope so to speak. He wanted to know how a person decides to make choices of helping others, and I was reminded again of Burke, but this time I leaned towards the idea of thinking of others first before yourself.
In my adult life I have tended to think of others before myself. I think this is from my Christian beliefs, but also something more innate. This seems so fundamental to me and I have learned it is not so in others. Not that they are bad people that think thus. I just figure others must have sound reasons for doing what they do and these decisions will help us all. You can see the flaw in that premise though, right? Narcissists and sociopaths don't think of other's motives unless they can judge their own more important, or they can use those motives against someone.
Afterwards I was discussing this with Maureen and she read me another quote from The New Yorker magazine that seemed to tie Burke with what I was thinking. Simon Blackburn in Mirror, Mirror: The Uses and Abuses of Self-Love, states "Good manners are a small but constant adjustment to the reasonable expectations or needs of others, little tokens acknowledging their right to a certain space." Seems to me that if I am continually observing others and trying to understand their needs, I should be better able to make a difference in the world.
And know when to help others.
Mushroom Mac and Cheese
6 days ago
2 comments:
it seems that the selection of people who are the help first type is rapidly diminishing. It's been replaced with cell phone video first people, or the dreaded someone else will help people.
A few weeks ago I pulled up next to a vehicle and let the driver know his brake light was out on the passenger side. Apparently he was tired of people being helpful and unleashed a tirade about mind my own business, he f-k-n knew it was out, etc.
Perhaps I should have made a video instead.
Keep up the good work.
Interesting, I had a similar brake light event today. Seems to me if you want to have people leave you alone, fix the light.
I tried to raise my children to help others and the conversation eventually got to that point, but it took a while. The son in question works at a national park near us and everything we've heard about his work has been good to excellent. So something must have stuck from our talks.
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